Get iterator or reference of object just inserted to container

When I insert() an object into container such std::unordered_map, how can I get reference/iterator/pointer to its location without searching for it ( e.g. find(); that would mean unnecessary overhead ).

I mean, the container datastructure should know where it just stored my object, without searching.

consider this code:

class Node{
    public:
    int    id;
    double mass;
};

std::unordered_map<uint32_t,Node> nodes;

Node& tryInsertNode( uint32_t key, const Node& node ){
    auto nod_it = nodes.find( key );
    if ( nod_it == nodes.end() ){
        nodes.insert( {key, node} );
        nod_it = nodes.find( key ); // this is silly, I don't want to do this !!!
        // nod_it = ???             // JUST GIVE ME MY POINTER !!!
    }else{
        nod_it->second = node;
    };
    return nod_it->second;
}

I need to return reference / pointer / iterator to the instance of class Node which is allocated inside std::unordered_map<uint32_t,Node> nodes; so that I can modify the contend of this node later, without paying cost of find()

Sure, I would not have this problem when I use pointers i.e. : std::unordered_map<uint32_t,Node*> nodes;

But I think that in my particular case would be std::unordered_map<uint32_t,Node> preferable for performance reasons (i.e. less jumping in memory).