How to implement an intrusive linked list that avoids undefined behavior?

For the third time in a few years I find myself needing an intrusive linked list for a project that does not allow boost (ask management...).

For the third time I find that the intrusive linked list implementation I have works perfectly, but that I really don't like that it makes use of undefined behavior - namely when converting the pointer to a list node into a pointer to the object containing that list node.

That awful code currently looks like this:

template <typename T, IntrusiveListNode T::*member>
class IntrusiveList {
// snip ...
private:
    T & nodeToItem_(IntrusiveListNode & node) {
        return *(T*)(((char*)&node)-((size_t)&(((T*)nullptr)->*member)));
    }
};

I don't really care how ugly nodeToItem_ gets, but I would like to keep the public interface and syntax of IntrusiveList the same. Specifically, I would like to specify the type of a list type using IntrusiveList<Test, &Test::node_> rather than IntrusiveList<Test, offsetof(Test, node_)>.

It's almost 2016 - is there any way to do this without invoking undefined behavior?